|
A dad's introduction to childbirth class
By JD Lasica
One of the best ways to prepare for childbirth —
an eye-opening experience for most of us — is to accompany
your wife or partner to a childbirth education class. Almost all
hospitals and birth centers hold sessions, and parents are usually
given the option of attending two or three short evening sessions
or one long daytime session. For me, the class was a great introduction
to the big event, still several weeks off for us.
We decided to attend a one-day childbirth preparation class at
our hospital (Alta Bates in Berkeley, California) rather than
attend an offsite class, where the emphasis is more likely to
be on natural childbirth. I'll confess up front that I thought
80 percent of the class would be about breathing exercises. Not
quite.
We immediately hit it off with our instructor, Janaki Costello,
a certified doula, childbirth educator, and board-certified lactation
consultant. Here are the ten key lessons she passed along:
1. Recognize the onset of true labor
Late in their pregnancy, most women will experience false labor
— Braxton Hicks contractions that may start out strong but
taper off and then stop after a while. Look for these signs, among
others, that your wife is experiencing the real deal:
• Her water may break, resulting in a trickle or a gush
of fluid. When the amniotic sac (also called the bag of waters)
breaks, 80 percent of women will spontaneously go into labor within
12 hours. Keep in mind, though, that contractions usually start
before her water breaks.
• Persistent lower back pain, especially if your partner
also complains about a crampy, premenstrual feeling.
• Contractions that occur at regular and increasingly shorter
intervals and become longer and stronger in intensity.
• She passes the mucus plug, which blocks the cervix. This
isn't necessarily a sign that labor is imminent — it could
still be several days away — but, at the very least, it
indicates that things are moving.
2. Know how to time the contractions
Make sure your watch has a readable second hand, and time your
wife's contractions from the beginning of one contraction to the
beginning of the next. If they're eight to 10 minutes apart and
last 30 to 45 seconds each, your partner is likely in early labor.
Your doctor or midwife can help you make the decision over the
phone about when to come in. As a general rule-of-thumb, if the
contractions are less than five minutes apart, last a minute or
more, and continue in that pattern for an hour, you should get
to the hospital. But some situations call for getting to the hospital
sooner, so be sure to talk to your caregiver ahead of time about
what's right for you.
3. Don't get to the hospital too early
Costello hit us over the head with this admonition: Don't head
to the hospital the minute your partner goes into labor. If she's
dilated to only 1 centimeter, chances are they'll send you home
because you have a good ways to go. "Take a walk, go to the
mall or a museum, hit the beach, catch a movie — anything
to help you take your mind off the contractions," Costello
said. "Try not to fixate on the clock. If it happens at night,
try to get back to sleep for a few hours." Easier said than
done, says my wife.
4. Know what to expect during labor
Forget those TV sitcom images where a woman goes into labor and
a baby pops out by the second commercial. It sometimes happens
that fast, but only rarely. For most, especially first-time mothers,
labor is a journey, not an event. Bottom line: Don't expect this
will be over in just a few hours. Every woman's experience is
different, but it's helpful to understand that there are three
distinct stages of labor:
First stage
The first stage really consists of three phases:
• Early phase. This phase typically lasts up to 14 hours
or longer, although it's usually considerably shorter for second
and subsequent babies. As labor progresses, the contractions get
longer and stronger.
• Active phase. Often this phase lasts up to six or more
hours, although it can be a lot shorter. You should be in the
hospital or birth center by now or en route. Contractions are
much more intense, last about 40 to 60 seconds, and are spaced
3 to 5 minutes apart. Breathing exercises, relaxation techniques,
and coaching are all important now. If your partner is having
trouble coping or she's not interested in a drug-free labor, this
is when she might opt for an epidural or other pain relief.
• Transition phase. This phase can last anywhere from a
few minutes to a several hours. It's here that your partner is
most likely to swear at you like a truck driver. (Don't take it
personally; even women who have coped well up to this point often
"lose it" during the transition phase.) Contractions
last 60 to 90 seconds and come two or three minutes apart.
Second stage
• Pushing and birth. The second stage can last from minutes
to hours — the average is about an hour for a first-time
pregnancy (longer if she's had an epidural) — and ends with
a moment that's made up in equal parts of relief and breathtaking
beauty: the birth of your baby. There's a lot to think about during
this phase: Do you want to record the birth on video? Will you
want to cut the cord? (Be sure to remind your doctor or midwife
if you do.) Does your partner want to try to breastfeed immediately
after birth? If the doctor or midwife or labor and delivery nurse
doesn't make sure that happens, you'll need to be ready to advocate
for her.
Third stage
• Delivery of the placenta. It's not over yet! This stage,
which begins immediately after the birth of your baby and ends
with the delivery of the placenta anywhere from one to 30 minutes
later, is usually anticlimactic but necessary. Be aware, too,
that your partner may get a case of the chills during this phase
or feel very shaky. If that's the case, be ready to offer a warm
blanket and to hold your newborn while she's regaining her strength.
5. Be an active participant
Costello looked at the half-dozen expectant fathers around the
table. "Remember, dads, it's your baby, too. You're a critical
part of the process."
In the days and weeks before your baby's due date, make sure
both you and your wife are packed for the hospital, including
a possible change of clothes, toiletries, and camera or camcorder,
and other essentials. If you have a birth plan, you may need to
let the labor and delivery nurses know about it (you should have
already discussed it with your doctor or midwife).
During early labor, remind your partner to drink plenty of liquids.
Pour her a glass of nonacidic juice such as apple juice or pineapple
juice, honey and water, an herbal tea, or just plain water to
ward off dehydration. Offer her a bagel, yogurt, or something
bland — she might not get anything solid to eat at the hospital
for many hours after the baby's birth. Finish packing.
When you head to the hospital, drive carefully. This isn't the
time for taking unnecessary chances. When you get to the labor
room, stick around to provide comfort and support. "The transition
stage is not the time to head out for a long lunch," Costello
advised. Feel free to bring fruit or other snacks along if it's
in the middle of the night.
6. Be an advocate for your partner
The doctor or midwife and nurses are there to make sure your partner
and baby do well during labor and birth. But you have a big role
in helping your partner get comfortable and in communicating her
wishes. You and she also have a big say in personalizing your
room. When it's time to rest, soften the lighting. Freshen the
smell by taking along aromatherapy balls, potpourri, or scented
oils. Bring pictures and your own music. I found a portable CD
player in the garage and packed some of my wife's favorite CDs.
7. Know how to play coach
Take your cues from your partner. Some women love having a massage
or having their hair stroked during labor. Others don't. And it
may be hard to predict ahead of time what your partner will prefer.
In any case, try to reassure her that she's doing fine and be
ready to help in any way she asks. See more tips on how to be
a great labor coach.
8. Be prepared
We watched two videos of vaginal births and one of a c-section.
All showed the messy, unglamorous side of labor. Don't be surprised
if your baby's skin looks wrinkled or his head is molded into
a cone shape, and, in truth, he doesn't even look like a baby.
9. Cut the cord if you want
Today, most dads choose to cut the baby's umbilical cord in the
first minutes after birth. "It's your right, but sometimes
they forget," Costello said, "so make sure you remind
your doctor or midwife."
10. Read further
Costello recommended several books: The Birth Book (Little, Brown,
1994) by William and Martha Sears; Sheila Kitzinger's The Complete
Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth (Knopf, 1985); Carl Jones's Mind
Over Labor (Penguin, 1987); and Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the
Newborn: The Complete Guide (Meadowbrook Press, 1991) by Penny
Simkin, Janet Whalley, and Ann Keppler. And there's no substitute
for exchanging questions or swapping tales with other moms-to-be
and expectant fathers. BabyCenter's bulletin boards bring together
expectant mothers by due date and also provide a place for expectant
dads to hang out.
|
